I worked as a janitor at an elementary school. Once upon a time after cleaning up some kiddie vomit, I found a VHS tape underneath the lunch table. 'The Lost Episode of Wheel of Fortune', it said. I was so excited that I quit my job and went home and popped the VHS tape into my VHS player.
"I would like to buy a person, Pat."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Slavery ended years ago. Please spin again."
The pin landed on 'bankrupt'. Just then, the lady contestant turned into a prostitute and had lines of cocaine all over her backside.
"That means morally bankrupt!"
I ripped out the VHS tape and set it on fire. To this day, I cannot watch TV without wondering why I quit my awesome janitor job.